


Now Who's the Dummy?

by AintNobodysBitch



Category: Dead Silence, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, F/M, M/M, definitely crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 11:45:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AintNobodysBitch/pseuds/AintNobodysBitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a Dead Silence/Star Trek crossover, and my roommate is making me write it. That being said, these are two of my favorite things and I hope you enjoy it, despite the fact that some liberties have been taken with the Dead Silence plot line. The movie is pretty great though, and I definitely recommend watching it.</p></blockquote>





	Now Who's the Dummy?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dustbowlwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustbowlwriter/gifts).



_Beware the stare of Mary Shaw_

_She had no children, only dolls_

_And if you see her in your dreams_

_Make sure you never, ever-_

“Jim so help me, if you don’t stop that fucking recording _right now_ you will be sleeping on the couch for months.” Bones refused to look up from his PADD as the recording continued to play. They had been listening to the same damn rhyme for hours, and it was starting to wear on all of their nerves. Everyone had assumed it was a joke from engineering at first, but when Scotty and pretty much all of the other engineers emerged from their quarters just as confused and unnerved as everyone else, everyone began to get uneasy. Spock was searching all known databases for anything related to the rhyme, while Jim had given everyone the rest of the day off, sending them all back to their quarters with a friendly pat on the back, the suggestion to wear headphones, and the promise that they’d figure it out soon. Jim had gone to back to the quarters that he and Bones shared, only to met with the pissed off doctor.

The rhyme was getting under everyone’s skin, but Bones had always been a superstitious bastard, and he was taking the endless repetition of the poem in the worst imaginable way.

Not that Jim blamed him.

“Bones, we live in the Captain’s quarters,” he grinned, trying to diffuse the situation the only way he knew how. His humour probably would have gone over a little better if the downright terrifying voice that had found its way to his ship’s intercom hadn’t just said “ _she’ll rip your tongue out at the seam_ ”. Jim gulped, pushing down his momentary unease to go back to comforting his best friend. “You can’t kick the Captain out of the Captain’s quarters.”

“Watch me.”

Bones still wasn’t looking up from his PADD, but at least Jim had gotten a small upward twitch of his lips. He could work with that. “C’mon, Bones. You know you’d miss sleeping with me.” Bones snorted, but at least he put his PADD down to look up at Jim. Jim, never one to miss an opportunity, crossed the room to stand in between Bones and the table he’d been working at, putting his hands on Bones’s shoulders and lightly massaging them. “Just think about how empty the bed would be without me.”

“Oh, because that’s _such_ a tragedy.” Bones’s voice was laced with sarcasm, but his fingers were tugging at Jim’s belt loops, pulling him down into his lap. Jim let out a surprised noise as he fell, smiling brightly up at Bones when the older man let his hands settle on the small of Jim’s back.

Jim managed to school his face into something that remotely resembled seriousness (if Bones squinted), mustering up all the authority and matter-of-factness he could manage. “It would be a tragedy, and as captain, I can’t allow my CMO to go through such a traumatizing event.”

Bones was laughing before Jim had finished speaking, which counted as a win in Jim’s book. Any time that Bones laughed counted as a win in Jim’s book. “Tell you what, _Captain,_ ” Bones accented Jim’s title with a soft kiss. “You make that stupid fucking recording stop, and you can stay in your quarters tonight.”

Jim whined in frustration, and Bones’s smile widened. He may have claimed that Jim was the mastermind in their relationship, but Bones lived and breathed solely to torture Jim. “I can’t make it stop, Bones.” Jim sighed, the light-heartedness and warmth of the moment fading as the poem started over again. “You know that, I know that, Mr. Spock knows that. Hell, half the red shirts know that. We don’t know where the transmission is coming from, and we’ve tried fucking _everything_ to get it to stop.” He sighed again, slumping forward against Bones’s shoulder. “It’s really starting to creep me out.”

“You and everyone else on this tin can.” Bones sounded amused, but that amusement didn’t keep Jim from noticing when Bones’s grip on his back tightened. “It’s so fucking weird, Jim.” Bones tilted his head back, presumably to glare at the intercom. “It’s weird and I don’t like it.” He was quiet as he let the poem play out in its entirety, shuddering when it reached its conclusion.

_Beware the stare of Mary Shaw_

_She had no children, only dolls_

_And if you see her in your dreams_

_Make sure you never, ever scream_

_Beware the stare of Mary Shaw_

_She had no children, only dolls_

_And if you see her do not scream_

_She’ll rip your tongue out at the seam_

Jim and Bones sat in silence for a minute, neither choosing to comment on the way that their hold on each other had tightened over the course of the poem. “Jim, that’s so fucked up.” Bones’s voice was soft, his face buried in Jim’s neck. “Who the fuck does something like that?” Bones’s fingers were digging into Jim’s arms, and Jim wasn’t going to tell him to let him go.

“I don’t know, Bones.” Jim shifted, running his hands through Bones’s hair. “I just hope everyone else can find a way to handle it. I told everyone to put in headphones and try to drown it out, but I’m honestly not sure that that’s going to work.”

Bones shrugged, another shudder traveling down his spine as the poem started on another, seemingly fucking endless cycle. “It gets in your head and it stays there.” He gave a half smile, huffing out a breath as he titled his head back, leaning further back in the chair. “Do you know how many people are going to end up in Med Bay because of this?” He groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I should probably be down there right now.  I can’t let-”

Whatever Bones couldn’t let was cut off by the chirp of Jim’s communicator, and his mouth snapped shut as Jim flipped it open. “Kirk here.”

“Captain.” The curt tone and deep voice could only belong to one crewman, and Jim knew Bones was rolling his eyes without having to see his face. “We have found something that may prove to be useful.” Jim didn’t have time to tell his first officer to continue, because Spock rushed forward with, “Mary Shaw was a real woman; a ventriloquist during the twentieth century. The poem appears to have originated as local folklore in the late twentieth century, following the untimely and suspicious death of Shaw.”

Bones and Jim were listening with rapt attention, but neither one was entirely sure what Spock was trying to get at. “And this is useful how?”

“The transmission has been traced to the early twenty-first century, connected to two humans by the last name of Ashen. The only way that we have found,” Jim briefly wondered if that we included Uhura before focusing back in on what Spock was saying, “to end this transmission is to go back and stop it.”

“Time travel?” Bones’s scorn would have made a lesser man cry. Fortunately for Mr. Spock, he was half Vulcan. “You’re fucking me, right?”

“No, Doctor. I am not ‘fucking you’. If the rumors around the ship are true, that pleasure,” and hell if that phrase wasn’t full of Vulcan sarcasm, “is solely had by our Cap-”

“That’s enough, Mr. Spock.” Jim cut in, trying desperately to repress his urge to laugh. “But Bones does have a point. How the hell are we supposed to go to twenty-first century earth?”

“That, Captain,” Bones and Jim could almost hear Spock’s self-satisfied smile, and they both shared a confused, wary (on Bones’s half) look. “Is a matter for Mr. Spock.”

Bones’s shout of “I’m going to strangle those pointy-eared bastards” could be heard all over the ship, momentarily drowning out the rhyme and restoring a sense of balance to the otherwise off kilter Enterprise.   

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Dead Silence/Star Trek crossover, and my roommate is making me write it. That being said, these are two of my favorite things and I hope you enjoy it, despite the fact that some liberties have been taken with the Dead Silence plot line. The movie is pretty great though, and I definitely recommend watching it.


End file.
